Midwest Excellence: An Introduction

Hello.

I'm Steve Neuman. You can call me Stu. Or RandBall's Stu, the unwieldy internet name I've used for so many years now.

Am I the first unemployed writer to ever start a newsletter? You ask an awful lot of questions for someone I barely know, but let's say yes for the sake of argument. I know I'm brave, and I thank you for recognizing it.

The Rule of Threes is an ironclad comedy tentpole, along with "K" sounds and having an orangutan sidekick. It's also the number of people I trust who told me to start a newsletter, including two valued editors (hey John, hey Holly) and a listener to The Sportive, the occasionally listenable podcast I co-host (hey Matt).

This is that newsletter. I call it Midwest Excellence. The name is one I was going to pitch as a name for a "midwest IPA" concept, with an accompanying ad campaign of people displaying said behavior--leaving Twins games in the 7th inning in order to beat Minneapolis traffic, having a favorite I-94 exit on the way to the Dells (Mauston, Exit 69), getting a horrendous case of e. coli poisoning at Big Island when you were 19, etc. etc.

If you're at all familiar with my work to this point, you probably know what to expect. All I've ever wanted to do online is make my little jokes, complain about sports, and discuss '80s indie rock. This has somehow, against all reasonable odds, allowed me to make a comfortable living the last decade.

Can I continue that with this dumb thing? I have no earthly idea. A brief scan of available writing jobs indicates that most current options are either obvious scams or creating the worst AI slop you've ever seen in your life. I will dig a fucking ditch before I do that. So a newsletter it is.

Lately, there's been an government invasion of my home state, with an extra degree of cruelty being visited upon the Twin Cities, where I live and work. Writing about it on god's own Facebook has become my way of processing it. It likely annoys the shit out of various cousins and 4th-grade classmates, but the response of others living through this awful moment has been heartening.

So in addition to way too many words about meat raffles or R.E.M, there will likely be discussion of that whole goddamn thing. If that's not your jam, I get it. I'm a big old lib, so better that you know that going into it than be surprised later on that I think Kristi Noem is a war criminal (she is).

It'll be free to start, in your inbox every weekday, roughly. If enough people like it, I'll set up a pay tier for people to subscribe. Nothing bananas. Like $5/month, plus a tier for wealthy and mysterious benefactors. I will not do weird sex stuff for them unless they're hot and my wife is OK with it. That's a RandBall's Stu Guarantee™.

If it only attracts a few readers, I'll set up a group text with them and get to work on the ditch.

Only one way to find out. See you tomorrow.